It takes ages to craft certain blog entries because I admit, I am self-conscious about what I publish since I don’t like writing about my personal life. My blogs use to be very personal but over the years, there were aspects of my life and thoughts I was hesitant to record because many people take things the wrong way and make judgments. I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately and realized: why do I need to be ashamed of my good life and worry about what other people think?
Being an introvert, I’ve never been good with words so I’ve always turned to creative expression (writing and art). I’ve found myself drifting away from people in the past because we never understood each other due to difference in personalities and the way our minds interprets events. There is no right and wrong… we all see the world differently as a results of our own experiences. But this is my blog and I’ve always been obsessed with recording history, life events, experiences and thoughts so maintaining blogs for 17 years and knowing my life has been forever immortalized makes me grateful. I love memories.
Like most bloggers, I don’t publish the majority of my entries because I either don’t finish or they aren’t perfect enough… but I’m on a campaign to eliminate the need for perfection and to “just do it.” Who cares if it’s not perfect? When we are constantly striving for perfection, nothing gets done.
In reality, there really is no such thing as perfection because once you reach that point, you will ALWAYS strive for more and if you don’t, you are just settling. You should never settle.
You should always be constructing your own happiness by living in the moment, doing things you love with a huge dose of gratitude and dealing with things as they happen— living and relishing in the flow of life.
Although I’m nowhere near perfect, I am forever grateful for past lessons and continuous growth, and the company I am surrounded by, whom I get to grow older and wiser with. I am proud of all that I’ve achieved to get to where I am today, and to be able to revel in the joy and freedom I’m experiencing.
I’ve been MIA all summer because I’ve been traveling as much as I can and when I’m home, I’m frantically trying to squeeze everything else in: riding my bike, seeing friends, work and other adult responsibilities I need to attend to (bills, chores, bills, chores). There just isn’t enough hours in a day and I’ve gotten zero down time but life is too short to not do everything you want and I’m in a very fortunate position in my life right now to have all this freedom. It would be such a waste to not take advantage of it.
What is life if you can’t live?
I went through a phase last month where I was so exhausted mentally and physically and haven’t been wanting to do ANYTHING when I was home (let’s face it… you don’t really sleep while on vacation), even getting up early to ride my bike. Gasp. I rarely have problems getting up to workout. So I’ve been letting myself sleep in, forgoing my long morning rides for a regular commute straight to work. I discovered that once I’m out in the sun on two wheels, all those lethargic thoughts dissipate because BIKE = INSTANT HAPPINESS. Seriously. It’s a proven equation. Since I haven’t been riding much due to traveling, I realized I’m literally telling myself how wonderful and grateful I am to be out on my bike on every single one of my rides. The feeling is THAT incredible.
The downside to busyness is my health has definitely taken a toll. I started seeing an amazing naturopath, gotten health tests done, have been officially diagnosed with anemia and GI issues due to the lack of sleep, stress and probably too much caffeine but I’ve never been more in tuned with my health and body. These issues have been a blessing in disguise. Did I mention that I finally admitted I am lactose-intolerant? I was denial for a while, just like my puppy-allergies, but I’m always armed with lactase enzymes. NOT giving up cheese, cake and chocolate.
Because of my health, I have been lowering the intensity of my bike rides and exercising less to keep those cortisol levels under control. The past year, I’ve only been lifting 1-2x/week and have lost a TON of strength so I’m trying to muster up the discipline for more weight-lifting and less cycling… but I admit it’s hard when I would rather be out and about on my bike. The one motivation for me to shake up my routine a bit is that my butt is getting a little too flat for my liking with this cardio-overload! Harharhar.
Life is so beautiful and precious… be grateful for every moment of it. I wouldn’t change a thing of mine except I wish there were more hours in a day to do more crazy stuff!