1. Always wear sunscreen on the face.
I spent my summer walking around with a mustache tan. Being a vain cyclist, of course, I’m more worried about the tan than the UV protection but um, yes, uv protection is important as well.
2. No matter how much sunscreen you put on your face, you will always sweat it off.
3. Don’t cry over your tan lines.
Remember they will fade. Well, I’ve never cried over tanlines before because I always move my shorts around so the line is always faint and I only wear sleeveless jerseys!! I still hate them with a passion though.
4. Never be lazy and let your partner carry things like eletrolyte tablets and extra fuel for you.
Especially if there is a mountain involved because you
will get separated. That 0.00002 grams won’t make you any faster! Just kidding, he was only carrying my stuff because all my pockets were stuffed with things like tissue for the predestined volcanic eruption of Katy’s Nose … so next time I will find more pockets instead.
5. Cycling and navigating while leading the pack is hard…
… especially when you are like me with no sense of direction. If you ever see me leading a group, do not follow. I repeat, DO NOT FOLLOW. You will most likely get lost and the length of our ride may be doubled (swear, I didn’t do it on purpose).
6. Sometimes the hardest hills are the ones you can’t see— the false flats.
But that’s always the cyclist’s fault because they are probably still trying to hammer it when gravity is totally against them.
7. When you think you can’t ride any further, take a break or slow down.
Even a 10 minute break will keep me refreshed for another hour or so.
8. Eat something quick and carbolicious before any ride longer than 2 hours.
Or drink a cup of black Vietnamese coffee. Especially if it’s 6am in the morning. Especially if it’s going to get hot. It makes all the difference in my energy levels.
9. If you want to become a stronger rider, it will hurt.
The only way to be faster is to ride with people faster than you. And trust me, I get anxious but I never regret it!
10. It’s okay to be vain while cycling
a.k.a. making an effort to look good and keeping your face calm (and maybe even with a hint of a smile) rather than showing your true state a.k.a. on the brink of death. Are you THAT vain, you ask? One, it gives you something to focus on to take your mind off the pain. Two, maintaining a calm expression will relax your muscles and you will feel more relaxed and less tense— and reduced tension means reduced pain. Thus ready to kick ass and take over the world. Or that stretch of road at least. Maybe it’s all psychological but I swear it works for me!
