Cyclist Problems

Mean Poutine

POUTINE.

  • When any ride under 50km does not count as a workout.
  • When you plan a leisurely ride to work but you end up really really wanting to stay ahead of other cyclists commuters on the bike lanes because you just can’t help it.
  • When you are commuting in lycra and feel pressured to ride faster when you just want a leisurely ride. Damnit, should’ve worn a cotton t-shirt today.
  • When you heard someone lent out their road bike: “Wow, they are SO nice. I would never do that.”
  • When you can’t decide which poutine place to go to after a ride.
  • DO NOT TALK TO ME IF I MISSED MY MORNING RIDE.
  • When you sell out your parents for weekend lunches because they always interfere with scheduled group rides.
Leggings or no leggings? Fingerless or full-fingered gloves? Sigh.

Leggings or no leggings? Fingerless or full-fingered gloves? Why is life so hard?

  • When you have trouble trying to eat back all of the 4000 calories you burnt on the last ride.
  • Riding up a bunch of steep hills and realizing you went the wrong way so you turn around and go back downhill. Then you realize: OOPS. THAT WAS THE RIGHT WAY AFTERALL.
  • “You won’t understand unless you’re a cyclist.”
  • Being super stressed out because you can’t decide what to wear and how to layer for winter riding. Freezing-to-death and overheating are extreme concerns!!
  • The sadness you feel having to give up Leg Days at the gym so they will survive a hard weekend ride.
  • When a week goes by without a quality ride feels like you just wasted your life away.
  • When you want to shoot yourself because you have to walk 5 blocks while riding up a mountain is something you look forward to all the freaking time.
  • When you’ve cycled a particular route dozens of times and one day you look up and realized you’ve NEVER noticed the gorgeous scenery along it (because you are always riding too hard to notice).
  • When you have to hit your brakes because you are stuck behind a slow ass Ferrari.
Tan Lines | iFuckingLoveFitness.com

Tanned & Lined. FML.

  • Forgetting to start your GPS prior to a ride.
  • Realizing you forgot to fully charge your GPS before an uber long ride.
  • When you manually pause your GPS during a ride and forgetting to restart it.
  • The fear of running out of clean cycling shorts.
  • Chafing.
  • Having to wash your water bottles after a ride. Worst. Chore. Ever.
  • Checking out other male cyclists’ …calves. When they are sharp and pointy, I am impressed.
  • When you are climbing a mountain and another cyclist pull up to you and starts chatting with you like a normal person… and makes you feel really bad about yourself. Because you are struggling to breath and have no idea why the hell they don’t sound tired at all.
  • When you say you went out for a ride and have to clarify it was a BICYCLE ride… not motorcycle. Why would I ride a motorcycle?! That’s just silly.
  • The huge dilemma of whether to pass these guys or not. Because if I pass them, that means I’ll have to stay in front of them and I’m not sure if I have the energy to keep that up…
  • When someone passes you so that means you HAVE to pass them again. Damnit. Should’ve worn that cotton t-shirt.
  • Spending the entire summer with a mustache tan, sunglass tan and hideous tan lines everywhere and anywhere.
  • When Boyfriend shows his bike shorts tan lines to other people. *dies from embarassment* (they are 10000000000x worse than mine)
  • Finally having to admit that you are just a wannabe-cyclist because you hate other “cyclists” (who don’t wear helmets) and cannot understand why cyclists are so proud of their tan lines. Sigh.
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    Fit Girl Problems

    • When you realized you’ve spent 4 hours of your life reading reviews for black cycling gloves on Amazon.
    • The guilt of not stretching after a workout. *DIES*
    • When it’s suppose to be a “rest day” but you end up working out anyway and label it as an “active rest day” in your fitness journal.
    • Not understanding why people don’t like burpees.
    • Not understanding why people don’t like the Grouse Grind.
    • Taking off your sports bra after your workout is harder than the workout itself. And straining your neck and shoulders really bad while doing so. And you tell everyone it’s a workout injury!!
    • Owning more sports bras than real bras.
    • When you feel like your life is in danger because you can’t steer your car properly since it was upper body day at the gym.
    • Having super dry hair because you have to wash it everyday.
    • Fit Girl Problems The worst time of your life is when you are recovering from an injury.
    • When you open your gym locker and 2 weeks worth of clean workout gear falls on you (my biggest fear is going to the gym and not having clean gear).
    • When you have at least 2 weeks worth of clean socks and underwear in your gym locker. Excessive much? At least it frees up space at home so I can indulge in my shopping habit.
    • When you have to explain to everyone that your gym clothes are clean because you worked out in the morning and was too lazy to change into “normal people clothes” since you have to go back to the gym or cycle home after work. Plus it’s not our fault that lycra, sweats and runners are so much more comfortable.
    • When you worked out in the morning before work and realized you had a meeting so you didn’t have time to shower … and you spend the whole time worrying if you smell or not.
    • When you use your company gym and you hate missing a day of work or being sick because that means you probably won’t go to the gym. Well at least that’s not a problem for the company.
    • Showering at least three times a day (morning ride to work, afternoon workout, ride home).
    • Spending all your free time on the foam roller.
    • And getting annoyed when Boyfriend is using the foamroller when you wanted to use it.
    • Being too lean in the winter. When it’s cold, you get REALLY REALLY cold.
    • Never going out for lunch with my co-workers because I need that time for the gym.
    • When you had an extremely stressful day and you realize it was only stressful because you HAD to make it to the gym at a certain time.
    • Getting super offended when people assume you don’t eat.
    • Being annoyed when someone is on your “favorite bike” at the gym. I know it’s not my bike but still. WAH.
    • When your day is ruined by the smelly-B.O. guy on the bike next to yours because no matter how much mental toughness you’ve developed from working out, you still can’t handle the stench of B.O.
    • When your entire collection of $200 designer jeans is suddenly too big. Yes, I learned from the stupidity of my younger days filled with unnecessary spending. Never again! Money only goes towards useful things like cycling gear these days.

    Fit Girl Problems | iFuckingLoveFitness.com

    Coming up… Cyclist Problems!

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