Wednesday, February 11, 2009

When Girls Drink Too Much

Humor

I don’t usually publish things this like but my friend, J* sent this to me and it’s sooo hilariously true! I’m pretty sure this is super old but if you haven’t seen it…

When girls drink too much…

  1. We have absolutely no idea where our purse is.

  2. We believe that dancing with our arms overhead and wiggling our butt while yelling “‘woo-hoo!” is truly the sexiest dance move around.
  3. We’ve suddenly decided that we want to kick someone’s butt and honestly believe we could do it too.
  4. In our last trip to pee, we realize that we now look more like a homeless hooker than the goddess we were just four hours ago.
  5. We start crying and telling everyone we see that we love them sooooo much.
  6. We get extremely excited and jump up and down every time a new song play’s because ‘oh my god! I love this song!’
  7. We’ve found a deeper/spiritual side to the geek sitting next to us.
  8. We’ve suddenly taken up smoking and become really good at it.
  9. We yell at the bartender, who we believe cheated us by giving us just lemonade, but that’s just because we can no longer taste the chardonnay.
  10. We think we are in bed, but our pillow feels strangely like the kitchen floor (or the mop… or the bathmat?)
  11. We fail to notice that the toilet lid’s down when we sit on it.
  12. We take our shoes off because we believe it’s their fault that we’re having problems walking straight.
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Unpopular Opinions

  • 95% of the population looks like shit in skinny jeans.
  • Ed Hardy (and all those “Gangster” brands) are UGLY AS HELL.
  • I guess I’m too old for Disney (am I really?) but I see it on a lot at Boyfriend’s house since there are usually so many kids there all the time… dundundun …Miley Cyrus is a horrible singer and actress (although I still have to give her props for her success and her millions of dollars :P ).
  • Twilight by Stephenie Meyers kinda really sucked.
  • Clothes from Hollister, A&F and AE are ugly.
  • LV monogram bags are ugly.
  • Juicy Couture bags are freaking hideous.
  • I can’t stand Stephen Harper (and him popping out of a Juicy Couture bag… that’s even worse!).
  • I don’t understand why people take a billion pictures of only themselves and post it on communities like Facebook. They all look the same!! Zzzz.
  • Chuck Bass (from Gossip Girls) is soooooo damn hot!! *shh don’t tell Boyfriend. Ed Westwick is even hotter with his British accent though.
  • Blake Lively is a bad actress.
  • Lauren Conrad is sooooooooooo boring.
  • I’m all for plastic surgery. People should get to make their own choices.
  • People over 20 shouldn’t wear anything with a TNA logo visible.
  • I LOVE Girlicious no matter how trashy they are.
  • I can’t stand most of Rihanna’s songs.
  • Most chicklit is horrible. So are straight-on romance novels because they are too slow and boring for my taste… and the main character is almost always annoying. Zzzzz.
  • I love old rock (and pop) music. One of my favorite songs is All For One by Rod Stewart, Sting and Bryan Adams and Another Day in Paradise by Phil Collins. I only write this because I can’t think of anyone of my friends who listens to them.
  • I’m pro-choice. Politics and religion (and other nosey people) shouldn’t meddle with a woman’s freewill and what they choose to do with their lives.
  • I’m against organized religion.
  • Durian is delicious!! Especially durian milkshakes (and Chuck Bass on a durian). Yummy.
  • Not exactly an unpopular opinion but people shouldn’t take things too seriously— life is too short!

What are YOUR unpopular opinions?

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Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Funny Job Descriptions

Humor

I LOL’ed at this list of 50 Funniest Short Job Descriptions Ever. Here are my favorites:

  1. Copy and paste the Internet: Student
  2. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
  3. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
  4. Clean up an animal that makes more money than me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
  5. Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
  6. Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
  7. Find as many synonyms for “explosion” as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
  8. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
  9. Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
  10. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester
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Don’t you ever have an urge to fix the kerning on a poster you see on the streets or yell at the designer who made it? I know I do!! Look no further… print out these stickers and stick away. Check out Design-Police.org for more. Ahhh I love it.

Design Police

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Thursday, March 6, 2008

LAWLS!

Humor, Technology & Gaming

I almost said “LOL” out loud yesterday!

So Boyfriend was saying something about the PS3 he bought out of nowhere and I almost answered with a, “Lol, why?” Lol as in LOL… not L-O-L.

LOL lol lol! How embarassing. I can totally see myself saying it during a meeting at work or something just because I’m going to keep on thinking about it now.

But anyway, Boyfriend just bought a 80gb PS3 out of the blue which was a total waste of money in my opinion (but at least he got it for half price). It’s funny because my sister and I use to get videogame consoles for free/as gifts (my mom even got 3 xBoxes from her company when they came out) and I actually played them but now when we actually have to pay for them, the Wii’s and 360’s and a billion games are just sitting around collecting dust. Who has time to play videogames nowadays (just kidding, I don’t wanna get fired).

There’s a brand new, top of the line Macbook Pro available to me for only $1200. Oh-em-gee… should I take it?! I had a chance to get a brand new iMac with a 24″ screen last year and I didn’t take it. Sure I don’t need a laptop but I’m usually so good at wasting money and buying stuff I don’t need. Why am I so stupid and still contemplating?


Macbook Pro a.k.a. Sexy Beast

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