• I wish Google Maps had an “Avoid Ghetto” routing option.
• More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think about is that I can’t wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that’s not only better, but also more directly involves me.
• Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you’re wrong.
• I don’t understand the purpose of the line, “I don’t need to drink to have fun.” Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when they’ve invented the lighter?
• Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you’re going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you’re crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.
• That’s enough, Nickelback.
• I totally take back all those times I didn’t want to nap when I was younger.
• Is it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on Facebook people that I do know, but I deliberately choose not to be friends with?
• Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn’t work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ’s. We just figured it out. Today’s kids are soft.
• There is a great need for sarcasm font.
• Sometimes, I’ll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and suddenly realize I had no idea what the f was going on when I first saw it.
• I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I’ll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone’s laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a millisecond earlier) to prove that I’m still the only one who really, really gets it.
• How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?
• I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.
• I think part of a best friend’s job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.
• The only time I look forward to a red light is when I’m trying to finish a text.
• A recent study has shown that playing beer pong contributes to the spread of mono and the flu. Yeah, if you suck at it.
• Was learning cursive really necessary?
• Lol has gone from meaning, “laugh out loud” to “I have nothing else to say”.
• I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.
• Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron test is absolutely petrifying.
• My brother’s Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name. He explained, “Cuz we beat you, and you hate us.” Classy, bro.
• Whenever someone says “I’m not book smart, but I’m street smart”, all I hear is “I’m not real smart, but I’m imaginary smart”.
• How many times is it appropriate to say “What?” before you just nod and smile because you still didn’t hear what they said?
• I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars teams up to prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!
• Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using ‘as in’ examples, I will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I had to spell my boss’s last name to an attorney and said “Yes that’s G as in…(10 second lapse)..ummm…Goonies”
• What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each other?
• While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and instinctively swerved to avoid it…thanks Mario Kart.
• MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
• Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.
• I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower first and THEN turn on the water.
• Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.
• I would like to officially coin the phrase ‘catching the swine flu’ to be used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight woman. Example: “Dave caught the swine flu last night.”
• I can’t remember the last time I wasn’t at least kind of tired.
• Bad decisions make good stories
• Whenever I’m Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don’t mind if I do!
• Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?
• If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would probably just be completely invisible.
• Why is it that during an ice
• breaker, when the whole room has to go around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I’m from, this shouldn’t be a problem….
• You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you’ve made up your mind that you just aren’t doing anything productive for the rest of the day.
• Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don’t want to have to restart my collection.
• There’s no worse feeling than that millisecond you’re sure you are going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.
• I’m always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.
• “Do not machine wash or tumble dry” means I will never wash this ever.
• I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV. There’s so much pressure. ‘I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren’t watching this. It’s only a matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be friends after this?’
• I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Dammit!), but when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail. What’d you do after I didn’t answer? Drop the phone and run away?
• I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.
• When I meet a new girl, I’m terrified of mentioning something she hasn’t already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
• I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it’s on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.
• Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed for pedophiles…
• As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
• Sometimes I’ll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.
• It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.
• I keep some people’s phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.
• Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn’t know what do to with it.
• Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, hitting the G
• spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey
• but I’d bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time…
• My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day “Dad what would happen if you ran over a ninja?” How the hell do I respond to that?
• It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.
• I wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive behind obeys the speed limit.
• I think the freezer deserves a light as well.
• I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.
• The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There’s nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

(via Ruminations.com)

[via GeeksAreSexy.net]

• 95% of the population looks like shit in skinny jeans.
• Ed Hardy (and all those “Gangster” brands) are UGLY.
• I guess I’m too old for Disney (am I really?) but I see it on a lot at Boyfriend’s house since there are usually so many kids there all the time… dundundun …Miley Cyrus is a horrible singer and actress (although I still have to give her props for her success and her millions of dollars).
• Twilight by Stephenie Meyers kind of really sucked.
• Clothes from Hollister, A&F and AE are ugly.
• LV monogram bags are ugly.
• Juicy Couture bags are freaking hideous.
• I can’t stand Stephen Harper (and him popping out of a Juicy Couture bag… that’s even worse!).
• I don’t understand why people take a billion pictures of only themselves and post it on communities like Facebook. They all look the same!! Zzzz.
• Chuck Bass (from Gossip Girls) is soooooo hot!! *shh don’t tell Boyfriend. Ed Westwick is even hotter with his British accent though.
• Blake Lively is a bad actress.
• Lauren Conrad is sooooooooooo boring.
• I’m all for plastic surgery. People should get to make their own choices.
• People over 20 shouldn’t wear anything with a TNA logo visible.
• I LOVE Girlicious no matter how trashy they are.
• I can’t stand most of Rihanna’s songs.
• Most chicklit is horrible. So are straight-on romance novels because they are too slow and boring for my taste… and the main character is almost always annoying. Zzzzz.
• I love old rock (and pop) music. One of my favorite songs is All For One by Rod Stewart, Sting and Bryan Adams and Another Day in Paradise by Phil Collins. I only write this because I can’t think of anyone of my friends who listens to them.
• I’m pro-choice. Politics and religion (and other nosey people) shouldn’t meddle with a woman’s freewill and what they choose to do with their lives.
• I’m against organized religion.
• Durian is delicious!! Especially durian milkshakes (and Chuck Bass on a durian). Yummy.
• Not exactly an unpopular opinion but people shouldn’t take things too seriously— life is too short!

What are YOUR unpopular opinions?

1. Copy and paste the Internet: Student
2. Tell people that they can’t spend money they thought they had: Government Analyst
3. Run away and call the police: Security Guard
4. Clean up an animal that makes more money than me in a year: Assistant Horse Trainer
5. Repeatedly fix what you repeatedly break: IT Director
6. Teach your kids enough to complain but not enough to make a difference: College Teacher
7. Find as many synonyms for “explosion� as possible: Novelist for Teenage Boys
8. Help people hate each other: Divorce Lawyer
9. Be a human napkin: Stay-at-home mom of three
10. Make people feel bad about their work: Quality Assurance Tester

So Boyfriend was saying something about the PS3 he bought out of nowhere and I almost answered with a, “Lol, why?” Lol as in LOL… not L-O-L.

LOL lol lol! How embarassing. I can totally see myself saying it during a meeting at work or something just because I’m going to keep on thinking about it now.

But anyway, Boyfriend just bought a 80gb PS3 out of the blue which was a total waste of money in my opinion (but at least he got it for half price). It’s funny because my sister and I use to get videogame consoles for free/as gifts (my mom even got 3 xBoxes from her company when they came out) and I actually played them but now when we actually have to pay for them, the Wii’s and 360′s and a billion games are just sitting around collecting dust. Who has time to play videogames nowadays (just kidding, I don’t wanna get fired).

There’s a brand new, top of the line Macbook Pro available to me for only $1200. Oh-em-gee… should I take it?! I had a chance to get a brand new iMac with a 24″ screen last year and I didn’t take it. Sure I don’t need a laptop but I’m usually so good at wasting money and buying stuff I don’t need. Why am I so stupid and still contemplating?

^{Macbook Pro a.k.a. Sexy Beast}

Look what I came across! This is the funniest picture I’ve ever seen. Paris Hilton reading The Art of War (Sun Tzu)?! LMAO. Now this is a cute picture and something that I can actually imagine:

The internet in 1996 looks like it had been created in its entirety by a panel of 13-year-olds with Geocities accounts who had about half an hour to spare each night before bedtime.

click here to be amazed…

Aww! Geocities! Those were good page-builder-on-28kb/s-dial-up-connection times. Maybe I should thank god that I started “using” the internet in 1998 because even my very first website looked a lot better than any of those. I was 9-years-old and it was a Backstreet Boys fan page.

… and then he made a dozen more, and they were all black.

Apparently they do..

Today I was watching him play Playground Wii (which is his favorite game at the moment), and I asked him which character he was and he replied, “I’m the black guy.” Later, I asked him, “why do you like black people so much, are they cooler than Asians or something?” He answered “yes” in a very matter-of-fact way and then added, “I’m cool, so I’m black too!!”

Hmm.. don’t ask me how this got embedded in his head because I don’t know and I assure you that I have nothing much to do with it.

Edit – I should mention that he’s only 4-years-old. And he doesn’t act like he’s black.

And today, my other nephew said this to me (he was in fact bragging):

Auntie Katy, guess what? I’m 6-years-old and I have MSN!!

Oh god, soon I’m going to start seeing him on some played-out community like VancouverXchange or something. Sometimes it’s best to keep kids illiterate until they are 16 or so, just so they stay off those things. Just kidding.

“Wow that bridge is long, eh?”
“Wow that bridge is long, huh?”

What are you suppose to say after a phrase to make it sound like a question? “Huh” just sounds dumb and uneducated. “Eh” is too but just not as bad. So now my question is, what do Americans say?

LOL.

But Canadians so say “eh” way too much.

How do you spell “Canada?”
“C-eh-N-eh-D-eh”

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

Well that was my revelation for today.

P.S. Cali is fun. We’re in Sacramento right now. Went to the Bay Area earlier today to do some shopping. Heading down to L.A. tomorrow.

This is still my favorite video though.

QOTD:

What do you work for: the love of success or the fear of failure?

Both. Success is better than sex (or is it?) but failure is my biggest fear.

Just joking, that’s totally mission impossible. I guess shopping isn’t THAT important… or wait. Did I just say that? Oh well, we’ll just have to go with the flow. We’ll manage; we always do!

I had to post these because they are too funny (from overheardinnewyork.com):

Woman #1: Are we going skiing this winter?
Woman #2: I don’t think so. Why?
Woman #1: I have to get some casual clothes. I looked in my closet, and it’s so serious. You know, someone asked me if I was a Republican! I need to get some fun clothes.
Woman #2: Wow, we worry about such different things.
Woman #1: Well, that’s because no one ever thought you were a Republican.

Black woman #1: Who you gonna vote fo’ in this election?
Black woman #2, picking her fingernails: I dunno. I just fuckin’ hate Bush. Anyone but him.
Black woman #1: I like Hillary. I think I’m gonna vote fo’ Hillary.
Black woman #2: Yeah. I mean, Obama’s cute, but I don’t care — he’s a black man. My husband’s a black man, and he don’t do shit.
Black woman #1: Mmm, I know.

Yuppie woman #1: So, why don’t you buy their products? Is it because of the whole child labor thing?
Yuppie woman #2: No, I don’t give a shit about that — I’m a Republican. I just think their products are ugly.

“Talk to your daughter before the beauty industry does.”

Check out these other hilarious animations:
Animator vs. Animation I
Animator vs. Animation II

PS. It’s NeYo’s. :shocked: