Here’s a tip mainly for the non-Asians:
If you’re ever invited to an Asian engagement / wedding / baby-shower or any celebratory events hosted by Asians, BRING CASH AS GIFTS!!
Let’s face it, Asians love money and we are greedy bitches. Some people will talk think shit about you if you bring gifts instead of cash. Well, I’m exaggerating because we’re not unappreciative assholes but it’s just a custom for some families.
Why do we want cash as gifts?
- You’re helping pay for the event and your seat [at the reception].
- We’re picky. We want to choose our OWN blender… not one that you picked out.
- Do we even want a blender?
It’s a win-win for both parties; you don’t have to go through the headache of gift-shopping and the host gets cash to cover the cost of the event and some more. It may not seem as personal as a gift, but it’s way more practical, and frankly, I don’t give a shit that a gift has more meaning. That friend’s attendance should be enough meaning anyway, right? *failed attempt at trying to cover personal greed*
We usually give $100-$200/person and obviously a lot more if it’s family or good friends. If you don’t have a red envelope (lai-see), a regular envelope with your [family] name on it is fine so they know who it’s from.
I’m not sure about all Asian ethnicities this goes for most Chinese and Vietnamese people. They might understand if you’re not Asian, but if you are, you should know better (unless your family is white-washed). 
Hyukhyukhyuk. BUT I think if I were to go to a non-Asian wedding, I’d probably go buy a gift instead too.
So you’re invited to my wedding, I don’t want nuttin’ but $$$. Money makes the world go round… not a dozen toasters and tea sets THAT I DIDN’T WANT IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Do you/your family prefer cash or gifts?
[EDIT] We don’t use gift registries because our parents and relatives usually don’t know what the heck that is. And it sounds like you give a lot of money out but when it’s your turn to host a party, you’re gonna get lots of it back in return.
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Shannon
December 4th, 2009 |
Honestly, I think that money IS more practical and is a lot better than gifts. I mean, who’s to say that one were to show up with either 1. a gift you don’t like or 2. a gift that someone else brought also. Not to mention, as you said, it’s a headache shopping for gifts especially if you aren’t in tuned with someone’s particular tastes. I think it should be like that on all occasions. Weddings, birthdays and Christmas. I know that some people believe that gifts are more thoughtful but what if you put thought into a gift that someone ends up not liking? Then you wrecked your brain for nothing! I prefer money as well!
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Kym
December 4th, 2009 |
Hmmm i dont know if money is that big a deal for filipinos… but then again we do have the money dance at weddings. haha! ;P
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sabrina
December 4th, 2009 |
Cash!!! Definitely more practical. Aside from that, gift registry to make shopping easier for guests and the couple!
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Margarita
December 4th, 2009 |
I come from a European background as do most my friends, and if you brought a gift to a wedding, you know the “canadian” person brought it. We want cash too. Lots of it
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Jenn
December 4th, 2009 |
My family’s super whitewashed (my parents anyway as they were both born in BC) but I would definitely prefer cash over items UNLESS it was directly from a gift registry that I created hahah
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Tricia
December 4th, 2009 |
Haha, I love this post. My family is Vietnamese, so of course we love the moolah
I can’t even remember the last time I got an actual gift from family members (except my parents). My grandparents don’t really utilize the red envelopes anymore though. Who needs it anyway? It’s all about what’s inside lmao.
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Maria
December 4th, 2009 |
Oh hell yea Filipinos like money too! We have the money dances during the wedding, and for as long as I’ve known, every party I go to, I just give money. If it’s a big event, it is $150 per person so yea! MONEY is awesome.
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bananas.
December 4th, 2009 |
haha! love the blunt honesty in this post. you’re too funny.
i think my family prefer gifts but add me to the greedy/picky bitches list because i prefer cash…cold hard CASH!
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irene
December 4th, 2009 |
I am all about the money. I rather pick my own stuff out. I’m picky in that sort of way. But if it was a gift that i really wanted and it was there for me, I would totally keep it. Either way its nice.
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Janine
December 4th, 2009 |
We (my family, friends, people I know) typically give cash in cards, especially to family and friends we don’t know very well anymore, such as distant cousins or close friends’ children. Donny is 25 and still gets cash from his parents’ friends on his birthday, Christmas, etc. For people you know well, gifts are the norm, although with things like wishlists (my mom shopped from my Amazon list last Christmas) & wedding/shower registries, it’s not really much different than getting cash.
What makes the difference for me is that a gift or gift card ends up going towards a WANT, whereas if I receive cash, 90% of the time I will put it towards a bill, rent, or some other expense that I would have found a way to pay anyway. A gift (versus cash) says, “I want you to have this thing you want, not something you need.” If I had my way, I would like to receive gift cards to stores I really love and want to shop at ~or~ awesome & unique gifts from people who know me WELL. Some of my best gifts have been from close friends who got my presents at thrift shops & gift shops. Getting a gift and thinking, “This is so ME” can be better than cash, IMO.
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Bombchell - in Atlanta
December 4th, 2009 |
LMAO It seems a lot of cultures do this. for Nigerians anyone is ok. both are welcome, some people give lavish gifts like a freakin car to their daughter/ daughter in law. those here abroad also do gift registries, but we have a tradition of spraying a whole bunch of bills on the dancing couple
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rikuka
December 4th, 2009 |
katy, you’re hilarious but this is so true
we sure the hell are picky. i’d prefer cash or even a gift card. if someone chooses a gift for me though and i don’t really like it, i won’t use it often. on the contrary, i love picking out gifts for most occasions (not weddings. money is best for weddings.) just bcus it’s nice to see their reaction if it’s actually a thoughtful gift.
& “your” wedding? does that mean anytime soon?
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Katy
December 7th, 2009 |
Hells nooo! My wedding will be in like 7-10 years.
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andhari
December 4th, 2009 |
Hell yeah, Indonesians are like that too. But i want it mix and match. I want my girls to throw me bachelorette parties and bridal showers, that’s when they can give me gifts. Like all girly products, I know I will want everything. But for wedding? Money please. We could use that to splurge on honeymoon or buy a real good couch for the new house or something
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Sally
December 4th, 2009 |
Money because
1. We’re all lazy.
2. No one is creative enough to think of a gift idea.
3. We don’t care too much because the wedding is of some distant relative none of us talk to.
But my mom tends to make the red envelope especially neat and tidy with the tape perpendicular to the bottom of the envelope. She insists on folding the money, and then refolding it to make sure it fits perfectly.
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Sally
December 4th, 2009 |
We also prefer money because we’re greedy and don’t care much for gifts.
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toothfairynotes
December 5th, 2009 |
yeah… it’s true… we’re nasty picky bitches… I’m mixed Asian, and my family and my friends prefer money too.
I’m not greedy, but I do prefer money, because I’m picky, and like to pick out my own stuff!
loves
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Amanda
December 5th, 2009 |
Yes, yes, yes. I hate receiving birthday gifts, Xmas gifts etc. – I know what I want, and 99.99% of the time, it’s not what other people buy for me. If people would just give me the fucking cash, I’ll buy my own present!
As for my wedding, I’ve already planned to have a ‘wishing well’ (e.g. pot for money :D) rather than a gift registry or anything. And you bet I’ll be making it plain on the invites that they better give me cash than presents!
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Katy
December 15th, 2009 |
Ooh that money pot is a great idea!! Yeah I’m definitely going to have flower and gift icons on my invitation and cross it out… only a big fat $ sign please.
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Christine
December 5th, 2009 |
We’re thinking August, but its not finalized date wise, we are still making up the guestlist. Not to mention that our wedding is going to be Korean/Taiwanese/Christian so no clue how thats gonna work out yet lol. man we’ve been engaged only 9 days and my head hurts already lol
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Michelle
December 5th, 2009 |
BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA !
I love all of ur asian-related posts (straight-asian-eyelash-suck-balls.. money for wedding. and others i cant think off)
you make them sooo humorous !
you kno actually in my country,, when we print out wedding invites.. at the back, there’s ALWAYS these 3 pictures..
first one is a flower with an ‘X’ over it ..meaning no flowers..
second is a giftbox with an X as well.. so no gifts
last bt definately nt the least,, there’s an envelope and there’s NO cross.. so u get what that means right ?
we chinese just accept the ANGPAO !
hehe.. just thought its an interesting story to tell
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If it comes in pink
December 5th, 2009 |
Cute blog:) In my family we go for both, or actually I get money but I give gifts (would be kind of weird to give my mum money)
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Sandra
December 5th, 2009 |
Haha I love your writing.
I thought wow, they’re rich! Then she explained that the guests money was going to be used for the costs of the traditional dishes and all that, I figured it made perfect sense.
My middle school teacher was Korean and a couple of years ago when it was her son’s first birthday, I noticed people giving her those envelopes. When she told me there was money in there, and the traditional amount given, my 13 year old mind reacted like this:
Personally, I would take either. Money, presents, gift cards, a present is a present and I’ll gladly accept any of ‘em.
But I’m Mexican/American, so at traditional Mexican weddings there’s this dance when everybody has a short dance with the bride and the groom and while they’re up there they pin money to the dress/suit. So I guess we get money AND presents! haha
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Meg
December 5th, 2009 |
Haha, I’m Asian, so I totally understood this post and clicked “like.” I think if it were for me, cash would be fine, but I’d be a lot more touched if people knew me well enough to know what I wanted and gave me a meaningful gift.
We’re talking weddings and baby showers, but definitely not birthdays, right? Because giving someone money for their birthday (unless you’re family) just screams “I forgot it was your birthday until today so I’m just giving you cash” or “I don’t really care enough to get you something you’d like”
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Katy
December 7th, 2009 |
Yeah I think birthdays and Christmases are different (but I guess you can give cash if you want.. I’d totally accept it over presents).
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Kristin
December 5th, 2009 |
I wouldn’t have minded getting a bit more cashola at my wedding.
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Ligia
December 6th, 2009 |
i’m of chinese/timorese background and this post is spot on for my culture too, lol.
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SassyGirl
December 6th, 2009 |
Being Asian, I’m definitely used to the idea of paying $ and I would want to receive $ too. You’re right, it’s better than registering for gifts, because usually when you register, it has to be somewhere “nice” – but if you get $, you can choose where you buy each item, you can wait until things go on sale, etc.
It’s just much more economical!
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Samantha
December 6th, 2009 |
I agree! My family being chinese and thai both appreciate MONEY at weddings!
Money makes the world go around!
But I honestly can’t wait to make a registry just because it seems fun to just go around and scan stuff.
I doubt I’d want a blender though… lol
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Mars
December 7th, 2009 |
I just went to a wedding yesterday and on the invitation there are three printed signs, each indicating: NO gifts, NO flowers, CASH/PACKETS only. So direct and honest!
and yeah, I’ve actually never thought of buying gifts for weddings. money is better.
I don’t want nothing but money for my wedding as well!
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Katy
December 7th, 2009 |
That’s such a good idea… I’m definitely going to put that on my invitation!
Yeah I think it’s an Asian thing… I never even think about buying presents for weddings.
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andbythewei.com
December 7th, 2009 |
Your blog is too cute. I don’t always like reading > photos. But yours I like
(Psst, you’re the best dressed of your friends! Post some photos some time!)
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Sean
December 7th, 2009 |
I think cash is a great gift whether your Asian or not. Sometimes wishlists, or registries don’t have the exact one you want anyway, or maybe people look at it and think its too expensive, with cash you can get what you want and then let people know what you got them with the money they gave you.
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Mimi
December 8th, 2009 |
CASH/GIFTCARDS FTW
However, a lot of more Americanized Asian friends actually dislike gift card gifts because they aren’t as “thoughtful”. Uh, no, it’s because I’m being thoughtful that I’m getting you something you will actually NEED as opposed to an ugly blender which you will just end up exchanging for something else anyways. Look at all the trouble I’m saving you!
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Scott
December 8th, 2009 |
Yeah, I had to grab some receptionist in the lobby of my hotel in HK to find out how much money is standard for the red envelope thing (I was going to a friend’s wedding). It’s actually rather similar to how they do it in Japan — just the “standard” amount differs.
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Elle
December 8th, 2009 |
Bwahaha! I love li-cee (umm bad canto romanization). $$$ = shopping
Brown Eyed Girls are not bad. I saw this acoustic vid of them on youtube…soooo good! I used to think Abracadabra was tooo cheesy for me but all of a sudden… “Do you love me?” *shakes hips from side to side*
2ne1 is still my fave. I read your post about korean music…you killllled me with g-dragon. It’s so true and funny. I watched heartbreaker and was like “are you serious?” But what can I say…it’s g-dragon.
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Katy
December 15th, 2009 |
Omigosh I loved their acoustic version too!! I saved and listened to that video so many times. Those girls have amazing vocals and I love watching them perform. I didn’t like Abracadabra at first either and thought it was LAME but then I fell in love with it.
I like 2NE1 too… having all their solo songs go #1 is a sign that they’re all individually talented. YG sure knows how to pick their artists!
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annant
December 9th, 2009 |
im chinese too…hence im so used to this laisi (red packets)-giving
and how much to give is a headache thing to think about =.=
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Bunnie
December 9th, 2009 |
give me money ALL THE TIME.
today. tomorrow. yesterday.
and I will love you. for a bit.
: )
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Becca
December 9th, 2009 |
I got really confused once because I was invited to a bachlorette party which I couldn’t (and didn’t really want to) attend, and the whole family was invited to the wedding too. So I ended up getting a present anyway, for missing the bachlorette thing and the family gave money… Plus they had a mixed culture kind of wedding so both are covered haha
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s0ap
December 9th, 2009 |
I usually always give money too!! Except when I go with my parents or family who are already giving money. Then I’ll just buy a small gift to give.
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Damita
December 10th, 2009 |
I prefer money because otherwise I get a load of random things I’ll never use and end up listing on ebay… unless they follow my list!
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jeannie
December 10th, 2009 |
You are hilarious & TO THE POINT!
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Amber
December 11th, 2009 |
I notice as the times progress that less and less gifts are brought to any kind of function I go to. When I was younger, there would be tables full of gifts, but now theres one or two and a whole pile of envelopes with cash. I like it better that way. Whats the point of spending time picking out something you know they wont even like when you can just give them the money you would spend and let them get something they will love?
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abby
December 11th, 2009 |
gifts of course are highly appreciated, but it would also make much more sense for cash to be given. ^^ i read ambers comment and thats rright why spend time looking for a gift for someone they might end up returning or selling.. or even worst.. regifting.. lol might as well give them the cash to splurge on something they really want.. i think they’ll be even more thankful for that opportunity.
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Christine
December 12th, 2009 |
For a shower, my family usually picks WAY TOO MANY THINGS off the registry and that’s what I was taught. For example if they want cookware, we buy the whole lot of cookware on the registry, lol. For weddings, graduations, and other things we give cash and I personally think that’s better. I went to 3 weddings this year and we gave cash for all of them. I think you can do more with it, and they can use it any way they want.
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Kendall
December 12th, 2009 |
Black folks want CA$H too! I’m just sayin’…..
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linda
December 12th, 2009 |
very true! all the khmer/chinese wedding i went to, everyone knows they gotta cough up $50.00 a person! my party will be paid for! whoopie. hahah
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annieo
December 14th, 2009 |
here here! nothing beats a little red pocket gift of love! HAHAHA
oh! and the jewellery stand I snatched up in the markets, I’m sure you’ll be able to find some on ebay too, I was going to get the jewellery tree on Urbanoutfitters but they don’t ship those sort of items internationally
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Katy
December 16th, 2009 |
I actually got one from UB but I like yours because it has more hooks and stuff. I guess I’ll check out eBay then. Thanks!
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ladyish
December 15th, 2009 |
i’m still young so my parents never brought up money with me so i never realized till recently that we always give money. I know for at least us it also depends on your closeness with the family hosting whatever event. Like for us usually 100 is expected at least. per person. its just like tradition i guess, but with close family its more. we just outed g-note for each of my cousins getting married.
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Katy
December 16th, 2009 |
That’s one reason why I love being Asian… the money flows everywhere.
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MizzJ
December 15th, 2009 |
hahaha this post is hilarious and dead on. While who doesn’t enjoy getting a good ol’ present wrapped up in a big bow, some occasions warrant money rather than gifts and a wedding seems like one of them. If you’re having 100-200 people, you’re bound to get some crappy stuff and repeats. Money would be much more practical. I want to pick out my own blender dammit!!
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